Holidays

“Trauma is not what happens to you, but what happens inside you as a result of what happens to you.” ~Dr. Gabor Maté Most people think trauma comes from what frightened us. But not all trauma is rooted in fear. Some wounds come from betrayal—when something violates our sense of right and wrong, and we’re […]

“Meditation is a way of being, not a technique.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn I didn’t think I was someone who “couldn’t meditate.” I had read the books. I understood the benefits. I knew, intellectually, that sitting with my breath was supposed to help me feel calmer, more present, more myself. And yet every time I tried, something

“You can’t perform your way into being loved. You can only reveal yourself and trust that the right person will love what they find.” Finding the unmarked door, I stepped into a dimly lit room pulsing with that “Love Jones” energy. Neo-soul played low, red lighting cast shadows across faces, and the bass line vibrated

I think it’s probably fair to say that most of us are feeling overwhelmed right now. We’re all dealing with a lot. Work stress. Family responsibilities. Relationship struggles. Health challenges. The pressure to keep going even when we’re absolutely exhausted. Lately my own life has been ridiculously full. Between running the site, homeschooling my older

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” ~Ian Maclaren A friend recently told me a story about her mother that stayed with me. They walk together some evenings around her mom’s apartment building—part exercise, part ritual. Her mom doesn’t enjoy small talk. When they pass people in the building, she usually

“If there is no peace in the minds of individuals, how can there be peace in the world? Make peace in your own mind first.” ~S. N. Goenka  I recently completed my third Vipassana meditation course. There is a moment at the beginning of the course when you surrender your phone (and receive it back at

“Forgiveness is a painful and difficult process. It’s not something that happens overnight. It’s an evolution of the heart.” ~Sue Monk Kidd Sometimes I hear the word “forgiveness” and I cringe. I’ve been wrestling with this all year because I realized something really uncomfortable: When I look back at those moments where I felt betrayed,

“Sometimes people wound us because they’re wounded and tell us we’re broken because that’s how they feel, but we don’t have to believe them.” ~Lori Deschene Age and healing don’t make you invulnerable to moments that can bring you back to the kind of trauma you experienced as a child. It doesn’t mean that you’re

“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho I grew up as the first-born daughter—the responsible one, the helper, the one who didn’t want to cause trouble. I learned early how to be “good.” Good meant quiet. Good meant easy. Good meant not needing much. What I didn’t

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha For most of my life, hoping for something better wasn’t a problem. It was my fuel. If everything had lined up the way I once imagined, it would have looked something like this: steady financial security, meaningful creative work